Friday, July 3, 2009

The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote...

This was written in rage, heartbreak, sorrow & sadness. I really feel that this is the realest shit I have written in my 22 years of life.

The One That Took Me The Longest;

I hated you so much I could kill you,
but I loved you so much I'd sacrifice my life just to be with you in death;

My weakness.
My downfall.
A heartbreak's masterpiece...
They all defined you.
Yes, defined, because a vandalized shrine of you exists only in my memories now.

You will, however, go down in my history - The One who took me the longest to forget.

But you of course would not go in peace. I was forced to rip you out of me and you being a part of me, I can say that in my victory of ripping you out, I killed a piece of myself when the day came that your name meant nothing.

My right hand.
My confidant.
My best friend.
You owed me a friendship that you would never be man enough to give me. That in itself took me the longest to let go of.

If not Romeo and Juliet, then you Romeo and I would conform and be Mercutio?

But no, you would not oblige. Me and You - Forever, Montagues and Capulets. A passionate rage between the two. I blinked and our love had morphed and I was crushed to find that there was no cure for it's abnormality and thats why I remained deformed missing a limb that would never grow back.

The piece of you I had ripped away; the cancerous organ I had to remove if I wanted to live on my own - free of you...

A piece of me gone forever...its something I have come to accept... .. .

. .. ...but every now and then I'll catch a glimpse of your face in a dream and once again nostalgia wins, when I surrender to sleep and see my phantom limb.

I wish it was indifference that I feel now or at least something I could define but now that i lay here cured of you I know not what it is I long to find... .. .