Sunday, August 23, 2009

To My Jacob Black

I want to be a lost poem in a stranger's coat pocket, that conveys the importance of you.

To assure you of my desire, to assure you of dreams.

I want all the possibilities of you in writing.

I want to give you your reflection, I want your eyes on me, I want to travel to the lightness with you and stay there, and I want everything before you...

...everything before you to follow us like a trail behind me.

I want never to say goodbye to you, even on the street corner or the phone.

I want, I want so much... I'm breathless.

I want to put my power into a poem to burn a hole in your pocket so I can sew it.

I want my words to scream through you. I want the poem not to mean that much.

And I want to contradict myself by accident, and for you to know what I mean.

I want you to be distant and for me to feel you close, I want endless days when it's day and... nighttime never to end when it's night.

I want all the seasons in one day. I want the sun to set before us and come up in front of us.

I want water up to our waists and to be drenched by the rain, up to our ankles with holes in our shoes...

...with holes in our shoes. I want to think your thoughts because they're mine.

I want only what's urgent with you.
I want to get in the way of the barriers and I want you to be a tough guy when you're supposed to,
like you do already...

...when you're supposed to. And I want you to be tender, like you do already.

And I want us to have met for a reason and I want that reason to be important.

And I want it to be bigger than us, I want it to take over us.

I want to forget. I want to remember us.

And when I tell you I love you I'm hoping you'll say it back because you truly feel it in that instant because our 'love' will be the product of our friendship that was set on fire by the mounting sparks between us.

And I want your smile always, and your grimaces too.

I want your scar on my lips, and I want your disappointments in my heart.

I want your strength in my soul and I want your soul in my eyes.

I want to believe everything you say, and I do.

And I want you to tell me what's best when I don't know.

And when you're lost I want to find you.

And when you're weary I want to give you steeples and cathedral thoughts and coliseum dreams.

I want to drag you from the darkness and kneel with you exhausted with the blinding light blaring on us...

...I want all of this and more, with you.